AKA: THE TAMPON QUEEN (me!) Sandra, tvgp
This is how I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN: ..because my appetite always skyrockets! With great predictability.. Actually all my appetites increase, but for the purposes of this post I will stick to my appetite for food: "I'm not going to be able to wait an entire 5 minutes for my pizza.. How much for a bag of those chips?". And fortunately I had the exact amount of change in my back pocket that I would need for the chips. Which I inhaled while I waited for my slice of New York.. "Sandra? Did you order .... Did you order... Combination? Not a vegetarian?". -breaking my 10 year trend, but I'll save that explanation for another time also. I want to bring you into the bathroom with me, where sure enough.. My scarlet gift arrived. -and now I'm about to use quotation marks because even though I was alone in the bathroom.. I do talk out loud. As I've mentioned before, my toggle switch is broken. So I go like, "really? Write now? But I just had my period!? How could I... It's only been.. Since the 15th!" and I'm not going to use quotation marks here because, -thank God- I don't actually hear a voice talking back to me, but rather a thought entered my brain that went like this: ~welcome to peri-menopause~. /which I've actually been experiencing to some degree, but has kicked into a new gear apparently. EVERY BATHROOM SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE A STASH OF EMERGENCY TAMPONS (and, as i will learn... Pads too). -k-, but this bathroom does not. Action plan: check purse and then car for tampons: -nothing - .. But I work with almost all females.. Surely to God one of them has.... turns out not one of them?! has a tampon in their purse?! -and this is where Anne compassionatley, generously offered me a... A... A pad. And even though it is against my nature to ever be anything but grateful for anything given to me.. I had to politely and as graciously as I could: decline. -that went something like this: "thank you so much, but.. Are you kidding me? Who wears pads anymore? They make me feel like I'm in a western.. I just can't do it.". Cortney got my reference immediately, started laughing, but it was lost on the others until she did an imitation of a John Wayne type walking through saloon doors.. Which got me laughing pretty hard. Now, you must realize here that I'm bleeding with no protection during this survey I had to take.. Honestly.. That whole "boxers vs. Briefs" question that was popular a while back is a complete bore compared to "pads or tampons?". -fascinating! And we know which parade I march in, which sent me on an emergency drive to walgreens. And there was no time to dilly-dally.. I went straight to the aisle.. Searched through the
posted by SHE @ 8:08 AM
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