Friday, April 05, 2019

on the topic of gender non-conformity by (me!) sandra, tvgp

I will not tip toe.


but I have no idea where to begin?   -but WHEN did this begin?

-there is something very different going on...   

different under currents, 

and they are suspicious


my exposure was at the   -awesome!   all stars were out..   44 assists!   phenomenal, wonderful, Warrior Game at Oracle..   my birthday present from my sexy..

and during one of the intermissions..  on the big screen..
what appeared to me

based on 53 years plus of life experience here on earth..

as a beautiful young girl, 

who was, working with young children, in some capacity  -teacher? mentor? coach?

as she introduced herself, 

she included in her introduction, to the population at large, 

"I am gender non-conforming".


I could tell..

or at least my immediate read and interpretation/projection of her tone..

 this is something very different from not wanting to identify or get stuck in culturally practiced gender ROLES...

but rather, 

not wanting to identify with the GENDER itself.

huge distinction!


writers/scribes will understand:

I received this analogy and wrote it down

I jumping around, yes, I realize..
but there is quite a bit to..

and, so, 


it is a spiritual practice:

seek first to understand; then be understood.



dear gender non-conformists, 

if you are evolved enough to put that spiritual principle into practice, 

I have an exercise of the imagination for you
that will help you understand..

before you insist on being suddenly, utterly being understood

imagine this please:


when you wake up, and go to school or work, or anywhere

pretend in your imagination

that every time you
see a red light

that means "go!"

every time you see a green light

that means "stop."

and your entire society has been sent a letter explaining the new definition for each color

and now

 live according to this new information.


it is very analogous for me personally, 

for my entire 53+ year life

these have been,  -and still are, 

visual icons

one = human born with penis
the other =  human born with vagina

/and nothing to do with sexual attraction/orientation...  personal character/personality, education, or anything else

visual icons which mean male or female


for the entirety of my 53+ year life

red = stop
green = go


when everyone is agreement, with mutual understanding

this helps us avoid a lot of accidents 


it's not a NATURAL LAW
that red ='s stop

it is a human-implemented definition/understanding..

in truth, 

if anyone wanted to change it, 

so that GREEN now means STOP

and RED now means GO..

just so long as everyone is in on it..




really who cares which color means which instruction...   write.

we've done much of this for convenience..  to help; not to hurt


if you did want to implement the change

just for the sake of it..

how long would it take for people to adapt to the change?

my goodness..

I have to change my password every 2 or 3 months..


after I do, 

I still put my old/former password in several times before I remember...

and then, 3 times in a row, i'll use my new password successfully, 

then backtrack, and accidentally put the old one in again..


when a new year begins..

I mean, 

I can't think of any person, who wrote 2019 every single time beginning Jan 1st...

most people -out of habit-  write 2018, for a few weeks, until..

and that habit only last one year!

for icons/definitions/ways of being that have been practiced for decades and centuries and millenniums...

so, first understand, all of you who suddenly don't want to be referred to as a he or a she..

first understand, all of you who don't want to conform to long agreed upon/practiced ways of addressing people:

it is equivalent to waking up and starting now:

red means go.


there is an under-current of what is going on, that isn't sitting write in my soul...

some of this is quite recycled..

new vocabulary; dressed as if it's new..

but it is not new


what age was I?   prior to having children of my own..  and, 

uproar! about how unnecessary and restrictive and oppressive it was

pink for girls and blue for boys!

outrageous and oppressive..

and, I did, visit with my mind, all the arguments why or why not..


when I did have children of my own, 

and I gave birth, to a GIRL, and to a BOY;
that is to say, 

my daughter had a vagina, and my son had a penis..

and in their toddler/pre-school years they enjoyed pink and blue

I let them.

I let her favorite color be pink..  when she said her favorite color was pink
and she, very much on her own, expanded her color pallet as she grew...

and my son,  -with blue.

it is a who cares thing to me..  but people love to create upset/drama
over very inconsequential things.

my son, 

the second born,  and younger, 

exactly because he had an older sister, had very direct exposure to 'girl' things..

some things he enjoyed, others held no interest..

and vice versa

my daughter had very direct exposure to 'boy things'

and some things interested her also; and many did not..

I just let them be who they were...

and watched/observed...   loved, nurtured, cared, shared...


I would caution new parents to do the same

let your children, not the media, not whats trending, not these people so easily offended and upset over nothingness, not the academics, or experts, or scientists..

let your children show you who they are; and honor that.

-it seems to me, we are in some strange cultural climate
that doesn't want to allow a girl to be a girl, or boy to be a boy


and while we may have a much wider spectrum in humanity at large

within that spectrum

there are still boys

and there are still girls.

don't forget.


and, the other big upset during my youth..

the use Mr and Mrs...

outrageous!   discriminatory!

it's nobody's business if you are married or not..   that is your personal business only

and we have the addition of Ms.


I don't have enough energy for the long list... 

but much of what appears to be going on write now..

just recycled


sexual revolution...  sexual freedoms..

just recycled


I am interested in how people introduce themselves these days..

what they put as the most important, 

because, when we introduce ourselves, we only use a few words, sentences..

what do you lead with?

if I wanted to join in on what people are saying is the most important part of my introduction today, 

I might say, 

My name is Sandra.. I am a white,  female-conforming, heterosexual..


when did that become the lead?

I've always regarded who I am, not as what color, or sexual orientation, or gender

but rather, 

a proud mom, an artist, a writer...

I would vote for people to reconsider how they introduce themselves..

not because it's wrong..   what color and sexual orientation.. etc. ,

but rather, 

because it's not that important really.

if the young beautiful human on the big screen
would have introduced herself as a teacher, coach, mentor
and said what name to call her


why all this proactively leading with...

when if you just say your name, 


perhaps, I will experiment with that..

"Hi. My name is Sandra, 

I am a white, female-conforming, heterosexual...

 and what are you?"


I have no issue with color, sexual orientation..   whatever...

and i'm schooled on gender ROLES

and thank the people who helped us identify the roles placed on..

and we have in fact, expanded those gender ROLES impressively!

men are helping raise their children, 
women are working and financially contributing to the household

it's much more of a team-work environment..

the jobs available to women today!  vs..  in my youth

outrageously impressive!


and, so it just seems strange..

all this hard work, 

blood, sweat and tears, and marches and rallies, 

and court hearings, 


to help women

and now, 

but their teaching women not to identify as women ..


that's where im currently at in my acclimation

I totally understand not conforming to gender ROLES

and have no understanding of not wanting to conform to gender itself.

I currently think its a mis-communication, vocabulary issue

and my analogy here is roses..

like, I see every working day, 

100's of roses..

and the spectrum of color, 
spectrum of fragrance, or lack thereof, 
spectrum of varieties, 
hybrids, floribunda, 
climbers, carpet, patio tree, 
pedal counts and shapes can be entirely different..

there are many, many different types, flavors, if you will..  

and if, 

one of the roses could speak, and said, 

I am rose non-conforming, 

I would be like, 

do whatever you want, conform, don't conform, 
like it, don't like it, behave, don't behave, agree or argue..   
'feel' like an asparagus, hang out with the bamboo..
change your name if you want to

but, the bottom line my friend, is that you are a rose.

it is just a convenient name, given to a living entity that identifies certain characteristics in common.  nothing more; nothing less

and the habit of humans who do name/ label things
seems to be, 

in a very loose, non academic, way...   

it seems to be, 

we start out, with one big name that captures a large population


and then, 

we find distinguishing characteristics

men, women, boys, girls, adults, children, seniors, 

optimists, pessimists, 

introverts, extroverts, 


we find subgroups, 

and based on that new knowledge, we create new names

it's all for convenience

so we have heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, try-sexuals..

i'm sure there is a longer list..

and we have females, males, transgenders, 

and -gender non-forming-   ?

i'm going to go look up what that says...

bare with me..

red means go.


based on my very brief, and admittedly belated reading/research..

it really is the exact same thing

it is, 

not conforming to gender ROLES.

so, I got all upset/confused about nothing really...  have you ever done that?  jump the gun

it IS a vocabulary thing..

had she said, I am gender-role non-forming...

that makes perfect sense.


but!   we still have this other thing circulating..

the not wanting to be referred to as a he or she..       I remember squidmann blogging about this a long time ago..  it is also recycled...  don't use he or she...

and we are back to 

mostly its been for convenience

when I say, he, it's because the person I am discussing has a penis; that's it.

it does not mean, hetero, or homo-sexual..  "he" to me does not include who they sleep with, or whether or not they are feminine in appearance..   or personally identify as anything else..

and when I say "she"   -its because the person im referencing has a vagina..

penis; vagina

green light; red light..

if you all the sudden wanted to call humans with vaginas men
and humans with penises women..

doesn't really matter

we are all just looking for a common and convenient way to communicate


another thing that is not at all new

and is totally recycled

is the fact, 

that there also seems to be, always, originating where?

but someone(s) who thrive on manipulating it, so that it is even harder to communicate.

talking on egg shells..

In, Jesus walks in love,'s name... amen.


I think here of the passage that teaches us, 

-it teaches us about not conforming.

but it teaches us about not conforming to this world, these times..

Romans 12

2Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.


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