Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Brain spill, aisle 7... By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

-clean up crew please..  what happen was.. too much..  and it was on the edge of the shelf, and then..  when i reached for just one thing.. 

avalanche.     -natural disaster of the mind.  

***

its when..  its when there's more things to write about than time to write them..   and not enough time to more write; than to process..

so unless i point a few bullets..  messy is everywhere. 

know what i mean?

***

#  i once read..  and I don't know when or where, I only remember what:  -that when scientists studied on the molecular level, human tears, it turned out there is a distinct, measurable, quantifiably provable difference in the chemical make-up of sad tears vs. happy tears..  vs. hayfever tears.. and I've always wondered

but never researched, -whether that is true.  and!  

-i forgot whatelse..     which is why we have to clean up this spill..

now:  I wish, -but it is already too late.. that I would have thought to capture all my tears in test tubes this past..  one or two or 5 weeks, because..

I would love to donate my tears to science.   -they all fell for different reasons..  and now nor can I remember exact anything but..

*  i cried in awe, when i watched the genius tap dancer on Stephen Colbert.   -trust me, I have never before cried at any tap dance... I've been entertained; I've been delighted; I've been inspired.. etc, etc.   -but when I watched her...  I was moved; -to tears.   Not sad tears.. -I wonder the chemical make up of those..

Vs

when my sister and I went shopping together.. "Thank you mom!". and we shared a dressing room..  and when I was trying on a big, fluffy winter sweater..  the two strap loops that help keep it on a hanger.. well BOTH of them got caught on BOTH sides of the sunglasses I had proped up on my head..  the result is that the sweater got stuck only half way on.. and both of my arms were stuck suspended in the air like a bird in flight..  and my stomach was all bare hanging out...    and my sister just went into one... I mean she laughed so hard she was doubled over and peed her pants..  and her laughing so hard, made me laugh really hard..  but then when I finally got unstuck and untangled, there is still a new strap in some sweaters across the back...  or the front? no one even knows what the hell you are supposed to do with that one..  but it got caught across my face and couldn't get past my nose..

well, my sister was already in the middle of a laughing fit.. and so when she saw this...   -she literally fell to the dressing room floor...

it was just one fiasco after another for me in the dressing room.. and I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.. 

I would have loved to have captured a few of those laugh-so-hard-i-cried tears in a test tube..   -just to see if its true, you know..  a different chemical make up..

because then.. i was talking to my coworker artist friend, julie, at work.. they way only coworker, slash, moms, slash friends do.. and the conversation led me to talk about my pregnancy when i was 15..    and even though its been 35! years..  i couldn't really talk about it without crying... but that singular life experience itself resulted in its own variety of lots of tears at different times for different reasons.. there were fear/overwhelm tears; there were sad tears; there were tears of love and joy; tears from physical pain; tears in prayers..  goodbye tears when i became suicidal... and tears of i don't even know what, when I miscarried...  but when I was talking to julie.. the tears were in gratitude and overwhelm.. because it swooped up like a memory tidal wave..  all that has happened, that would not have happened, -had I taken my own, and my unborn baby's life...   all i could muster to say was..  God sure has been faithful...  and that realization makes me cry too..

oh! if we could catch just one of each tear type in a test tube...

and then i already do have a long list of people and circumstances I pray for and about every morning, throughout the day, and at night..  and add on..  the terror attacks in Paris, which unfold many more issues, and..  a 17 year old was just struck by a car and killed not too far from where i work..    and see, -there is more still, but..

but.. I've done a lot of crying ...   and I'd like to end, with just how awe struck I am by human tears...  -that we cry.

that computers, and robots, and rocks, and machines, and cell phones, and iphones, and..  i wonder how many living species on earth shed tears?  and under what spectrum of circumstances?

when we are told, 'you are a masterpiece'.  -I get it..  we laugh, we cry, we bleed, we think, we evolve, we love, we make mistakes, we grow..      and the key ingredient for the making of any masterpiece:  love.  

In Jesus faithful name,   -amen.

2 Comments:

At 8:59 AM, Blogger SHE said...

dear warriors... again, i can't believe i get to see basketball played at this level. it, if i may use a math term i actually understand, is, expo.. nen.. /understand but can't spell..

it is exciting to the tenth power! edge of my seat
..off the chair... out the door kind of exciting. But my request again is.. please.. for the sake of all of your fans well being.. keep at least a 15 point win margin..

 
At 9:07 AM, Blogger SHE said...

dear you know you who you are scientist man.. -you are approaching the question from the wrong angle. -what you are doing is chemically and neurologically manipulating the human brain -looking at the results, and concluding "no free will... you only think you have free will"

-because in fact, human beings behaviors/decision-making ability can be altered, manipulated through drugs and surgeries, etc. -this is true..

but, if you want to understand free will, approach it instead this way: -if you were creating a being, and wanted that being to have free will... -what would you have to do in order to make that true..

we have the spectrums necessary... or do we? -think it through.. and if nothing was manipulatable under any circumstance, chemical or surgerical or via internal/external influences...

so don't go getting all cocky because you can manipulate behavior.. amen.

 

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