Thursday, July 04, 2019

The Email that keeps me inspired by (Robin Modlin!) to (me!) sandra, tvgp

Tue, Feb 11, 2014 at 9:39 PM

Sandra, came home needing to write to you to tell you again, that show was phenomenal, phenomenally, phenomenal fabulous. It ripped open our hearts. I am one of the book group who surrounded you in the lobby. How could that gorgeous piece of art be the last it ever is heard or seen? That can not be. You must do more and video tape it and send it to Dr. Angelou as your love letter. It was elegant, honest and so powerful. Please make it happen again and again. It would be wonderful at The Bankhead. It would also be wonderful at the theater in Murphys. We are your fans....so wonderful, so wonderful...........thank you, thank you.
Robin......

--
Robin Modlin, MA
SoulCollageĀ® Facilitator
concrete sculpture, mosaics, participatory arts
www.dreamdancerdesigns.com

and she stood, I thought..   -maybe..  ???   write next to me.  a customer.  while I was cashiering at alden lane.  5 years later.

 I saw the name..

I looked back at the customer..

I looked again at the name; and back at the customer..   already a certain amount of emotion building in me..

"hey..  you're the one who wrote the email that keeps me inspired!    ā€¦.  do you,  -is it you?  do you have a website?"

and she said, "a lot of people have websites..."   with no matching expression that suggested she might know me too.   only a look of indifference.

"yes.. I think it is you..   don't you..  did you belong to a book club?"

and she said, "a lot of people belong to bookclubs"

"well, maybe it's not you, but..  did you ever see a play at the firehouse art center?"

and she did not remember the occasion.

   -this is when I realize there are two different operating systems going on within me.

         the first layer is the just let-it-go, give-up, move-on operating system, which does in fact win in many instances, but then there is this second layer; more stubborn and certain, even when the first layer is exclusively uncertain and ready to surrender

the second layer appears more knowledgeable and trustworthy and correct

-these are the only words I have to describe that inner knowing we all experience that pushes itself into the forefront

and so, 

"yes..  you are an artist..  you maybe have a child with special needs?   i'm trying to remember what I've read about you..   and you are connected somehow to murphy's..."

and it is write about then, that her expression changed, that she smiled, and said something like, "you do know who I am"

and then I re-mentioned about writing a play for Dr Maya Angelou..   and when I said Dr Maya Angelou's name.. this registered stronger in her memory than just mentioning the venue 'firehouse art center'

"you allowed yourself to be quite vulnerable, didn't you"  she said to me

and I just about cracked into a fountain of tears, but re-gained composure.

ive tried to reach robin, numerous times unsuccessfully   -but because many of the kind words of support for Kissin' The Chocolate Blues, came directly from beloved friends and family..  while I appreciated their feedback and support, it is factored in that it is coming from people who know and love me, and not one of them is going to say something critical, when my topic/performance is so...

and so, this email..   from a person/group in the audience that I did not know; who did not know me   -it meant even more, if you will..   

my play is not for everyone.  I know that in advance.  it is only for a select audience; not a mass audience..

BUT for the longest time, I've wondered..    what impact on that select audience?

and the impact I could only dream of and hope for when I wrote it, is represented in this email sent from robin.   so, what a blessing to tell her directly, in person  -how much her email meant

"it made it feel like it was all worth it," I said with a smile.  "thank you!"

                     /because people...       a lot of work went into the writing and performance!

***

anyway, 

gets better!   because robin had just, the night before shopping at alden lane, put together on her phone, a mini-movie video of the 

   -gorgeous!  colorful, sparkling and highly inspiring

mosaic installation she just completed at guess where?!?

murphys park!

"that's my favorite art form!"  I told her several times

so, only because I had recently been there, for the first time ever, for the celebration of life for my uncle bill Vaughn, 

I know the exact wall in murphy's park where this amazing art is now lifting hearts and spirits for anyone who lays their eyes upon it.

  -there should be a lot more of this kind of thing in the world

by the time the artist get done here in this world..

no empty canvases..  no boring stretches of nothing to look at walls, doors, or anything..

design! color! sparkle! beauty!

and she told me over 100 people contributed to the project.     way to go!

creative collaboration! team work!   -awesome.

***

and so,  last I thought of Kissin' The Chocolate Blues, a theater person from Ohlone College said a bunch about producing it..  about me actually getting paid!  and I got quite hopeful and excited,   - I had forwarded robin's email as a testimony..    but nothing came of that except ignored emails and it faded in the distance

but, 

in that second layer of me I described earlier  -the more stubborn and certain and knowledgeable layer

I have an inner knowing, that the write person is going to read the script; the write person will see its full potential

and it will be performed for the write audience; for the write reasons, at the write time, in the write venue    -and be filmed by a true master level professional

all according to God's will and no-one elses.        

hallelujah and amen!



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