SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

I fully agree with charlie kirk on this -sandra mickanen

 i did not know or follow charlie kirk but since his death have watched some of his appearances

- i do like how much he promoted love; marriage; family.

example from my own life:   my paternal grandparents, married young, had 4 children, stay married..

they had 2 sons, 2 daughters, 

and i'm going to specifically share about my aunt tina (well represented in my archives);

her generation was taught to value work, education, careers..  -also taught to fear a population overload and not contribute to it.    and she was part of the womens movement

when we were in my grandparents home at the same time..   my aunt would do a skit to kind of light heartedly make fun of how her mom doted on her dad...

first she would pretend to be her dad (my grandpa), lean back in the recliner, and in a masculine voice say   "i feel kinda thirsty"

and then she would pop up, pretend to be her mom (my grandma), skip-run to the kitchen, and come back with a pretend glass of ice tea to hand to her husband in his recliner. 

she would point out verbally,  "he doesnt even have to ask, honey, would you get me some tea please...  all he has to do is say he's thirsty!"

we'd laugh...    and, as a young person, a young woman especially, and HUGE fan and admirer of my aunt tina   -early recruit of the womens movement..

didn't that just seem so...   so silly.  so, pro-man, anti-woman...    why should she be doting on her husband like that...     the embarrassment of it..   her naivety & ignorance..     such old school ways.

"both your legs are working..  you can get your own glass of tea if you want one"

that's how my aunts generation and my generation was going to be more...     -equal.

smarter and equal.   -not get taken advantage of!

*****

my aunt tina..  her generations 'messaging' was..   education, career..    -marriage, doting on a man, being a slave to a house and children was outdated and very discouraged.  the planet doesnt need more people..     all those poor women slaves; just miserable... 

*****

and i bought into some of that as well;  -for a time.

****

but when i did decide to pursue becoming a mommy...     /unconventional..   via, anonymous sperm donor

but when i did decide, 

i will always remember sitting on the edge of a bed, pregnant, and having a private conversation with my aunt tina..

she shared how much she wished she would have had children.  how much she wished she could go back, and...

but it was too late for her.    she applauded me..    wish i would have done what you're doing

*****

and, i think every generation..  encourages financial wealth...     

it stuck out to me, in one part of charlie kirks talk   "don't wait until you can afford to have children.."

i agree.

there's no such time, really..

my aunt tina..     she married later in life.   a millionaire.

the story is in my blog archives..      he was a con man; went to jail..

*****

so, she was not only childless..  but suffered a deceitful fraud of a 'wealthy' husband      

*****

and her life ended way too early; from either 'accidentally' or intentionally drowning in a pool.

****

all of it makes me look back 

at my grandparents generation..    people who fell in love, married young, poor (relatively speaking), had babies, raised children..    were part of 'family culture'   -stayed married til death did them part.

and then, the results of 'education/career first & only culture'   womens  -empowerment...

****

the upshot for me is,   -fall in love, get married, make babies..    that's the meaningful, enriching and challenging and rewarding part of life..

education/careers on the side.

****

i've been seeing lots of pop ups lately...   re-promoting how important, valuable WORK..

laughing at the idea of work/life balance   discouraging it in very pronounced ways..

if you want to succeed you need to be willing to put in  X number of hours..   we need passion, obsession..  complete dedication...  

and they will take it   -anything/everything you are willing to give; they will take.

but if you fast forward, 

and they bail..     things change..

you end up with nothing but money; no spouse, no children, no family ..

no children, i remind, also means no grandchildren, or great grandchildren..

and further remind:  you can go to school at any age..  you can have/change careers..

but the window for having babies...

*****

so, charlie kirk, i'm all for it too:  fall in love, get married, make babies..   dote on each other; spoil each other a little bit..    predict your spouses needs...    and meet them.   its a beautiful gesture of love...  not ignorance.

they had it write all along...

*****

in loving memory of you all.  

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 4:13 PM