Saturday, April 25, 2015

When I go.. I go. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

let those who have ears to hear; hear.   PTSD was so life consuming.. as I healed there became opportunities for me to take self-defense classes..   This would make the most sense, yes?  yes.. Especially if you read my prior post..  But!  What I found, was that self-defense classes themselves retriggered PTSD symptoms and the battle would start all over again.  What I learned is that I was better off.. Enjoyed a better day to day quality of life.. Away from.. Without classes that retriggered.   Self defense needs to take place before to prevent..  start with a healthy mind.   -so, it seems the ultimate vulnerability.. I can't defend myself, really..  

Same with owning a gun.. It made things worse..

So, I had to surrender utterly..   the quality of my day to day life was so far superior as I healed from PTSD.. that anything, even if it promised to save my life, ended up so costly in terms of setting me back and re-triggering symptoms..

That I just had to say to myself and Jesus, "when I go; I go."

and for everyday of peace I experience.. I am enormously grateful.  for every symptom-free day..  or low levels..   I am enormously grateful.

"Thank you Jesus!".  Amen.


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