she says with a smile dot blogspot dot com
Thursday, May 31, 2012
i mean really... how cool is this?
fell in love with this tree the instant i spotted it.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
DON'T MISS THIS EPISODE OF CHARLIE ROSE says (me!) sandra, tvgpORIGINAL POST 5/30/2012. my charlie rose & favorite neuroscientist eric kandel
-and a very articulate/accurate description of clinical depression by andrew solomon
-and i am grateful to have my knowledge/experience of the life saving value of sleep validated during this most engaging, enlightening -uninterrupted- amazing conversation
and very much look forward to the next episode in the brain series which will include parkinsons and other degenerative brain disorders
and lastly... isn't that horrific to learn: the disconnect between pharmaceutical and academic worlds. how dramatically this slows the progress we've made
if you will allow me a spiritual/religious prism with which to view the problem:
interdependence, cooperation, collaboration, sharing/caring -everyone contributing their knowledge toward the higher goal of helping/healing others
these people are doing God's work.
independence, conflict, withholding valuable information from one another, ego-centered/financial and/or status gains, self-serving competitiveness, to see otherwise intelligent people pitted against one another, and red lights where green lights should be
this is fuel for the enemy.
i mean really?! it has gradually (suddenly) become too costly to continue research & development in the area of the brain
i smell agendas, hidden motivations, conscious, plotted stumbling blocks...
and it stinks.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
I SPY MORE LOVE IN PLEASANTON by (me!) sandra, tvgp
love: open 24/7
on floor in safeway on corner of santa rita/valley. pleasanton
(Jesus hot spot, remember)
slice of love
sauce on foil from cost co pepperoni pizza/livermore
"i love the foothills!"
view from corner of case avenue & valley/pleasanton
GOD PARTED THE RED SEA OF PEOPLE for (me! & my sister!), sandra, tvgp
having mentioned, in yesterday's post, about being trapped & terrified on the golden gate bridge with some 300,000 people
it brought to mind this experience: -and you might better appreciate, as i did, how God parted the crowds like the red sea.. so that with plenty of elbom room, we could enjoy the streets and sights of san francisco in the grandest style.
original posting: Tuesday, October 12, 2010
"WE FOUND OUR CALLING!" (me! and my sister -karin!)
only vague memories of glancing at the various vendor tables during the missions fair after church some several weeks ago,
nope. can't do that.. not qualified for that.. no.. maybe... probably not...
and then a great big "YES!" when i was gently recruited as a potential banner beauty for the world famous balloon platoon
"that's all you do? carry the banner in the parade? no experience necessary?"
hallelujah! i'm qualified!"
and then i immediately recruited my sister, "check out how you too can serve the Lord..." i said with a smile
-and walked her over to the balloon platoon table where we learned our very important first mission opportunity would be october 10th, for the columbus day parade in san francisco
"well, look no further!" i told them "we're your girls"
and i would later learn, my sister has always wanted to be in a parade. -i didn't know that. sisters, roommates, best friends for how many years, and i didn't know she always wanted to be in a parade
-then more talk about our childhoods, when she went to baton camp with the -waldonians? -earned a third place ribbon and everything, but was never in a parade..
always, always, remember this my friends: God knows the secret desires of your heart...
He also knows your limitations..
anyway.. there were some problems, a few obstacles.. and child care concerns, and for a short stretch it didn't look like we were going to get to participate (i mean. ... serve the Lord )
i threw it up to heaven
"it will work out if it's supposed to... the parade will take place fine without us, october 10th will come and go... the planet will keep spinnin'"
and i sweet~surrendered really, to the -maybe next time..- idea
even though... i had already hit the jackpot at kohls finding very cute & very inexpensive matching white outfits
two pairs of all white, boyfriend jeans, capri style, with a trendy hole on the write knee.. one my size, one her size, and ON SALE!
two v-neck, 3/4 sleeve, white t's -ON SALE!
two darling, white vests.. ON SALE!
and i talked to God while i was in the dressing room trying everything on. "Jesus... now i know i'm supposed to be using this money from our parents for food and gas..
but look! look how cute! -and it's really to serve you, afterall... it's for the church, Jesus! really.. and it's for the balloon platoon.. they're counting on us! -and it's family fellowship...
so if you don't want me spending this money on these cute matching outfits (ON SALE!) -then you better make sure these pants don't
[pull, squeeze, wiggle, wiggle, pull] -fit.
LOOK AT THAT! I GOT 'EM ZIPPED UP & EVERYTHING! -and once i move around in 'em for a couple days, they'll stretch to size.. [knee bend, squat, stand, jumping jack, knee bend, dance move or two..]
and so i figured, if i couldn't get the pants buttoned/zipped, that would be a sign i shouldn't spend my grocery money on cute matching outfits, but!
since i could get the pants on, with only a minimal amount of negotiation and effort.. well, then. that's was a clear sign i'd be the next one in line at the register.
so i surprised my sister with our new, matching, banner beauty outfits. "you go try yours on. i'll go put mine on. and then let's meet in front of your mirror"
and, how could the good Lord, not smile at the sight of us? ~ middle-aged, mom-sisters, in matching white boyfriend jeans, white t-shirts & vests..
and so, when it looked like we might not get to -serve the Lord- afterall, -well, i was extra grateful about kohl's amazing return policy
but this is write about when God must of whispered in our mom's ear, -because, once again.. in our great time of need, "GRANDMA SHARON TO THE RESCUE!" -and not only did she step up to watch the kids (on her wedding anniversary day)
but as she stepped up.. well, my sister noticed what cute white shoes she had on.. and how they might better match the cute white shoes she loaned me to wear...
so, -shirt off her back -shoes off her feet. we have a very generous mom
now my kids had coverage. my sister's kids had coverage. we had our cute matching white banner beauty outfits , PLUS our matching white shoes. -our next job then, was simply to show up at 10am in the parking lot @ jcpenney home store to meet with the rest of the balloon platoon & their spouses for the bus ride over
and with only one very quick, very minor, pit-stop at walgreens to pick up socks, and look! -sparkling matching earrings (and granola bars, and water...)
we made it.
having never done this before, both my sister and i had imagined 'the bus' as a middle-sized, yellow kind of thing, so it was a pleasant surprise to find a great big, fancy, tour bus in the parking lot, with "THUNDERSTAR" painted along the side
my imagination delighted immediately in the idea this was our bus.. and "our driver, calvin..."
so we mixed n''mingled with the balloon platoon, their spouses.. families... and watched them load up their gear. we got the inside scoop from centerpointe friends (& veteran banner beauties), cindy & sigrie, about what to expect -we were provided white gloves, white navy hats, & green scarves to accessorize our outfits. took a few pictures, and were off...
to san francisco! in the thunderstar! to march in the columbus day parade! with the world famous balloon platoon! -on an amazingly gorgeous, sunshiny, perfect-climate day!
so, i don't know who or how this whole thing gets orchestrated, but WOW! to everyone behind the scenes. all we did was follow orders and line up where we were told, which was between the american italian social club float (just in front of us) and lang, the bart board car (after us); wait on our que to move... wait on our que to move... wait on our que to move... then
and very helpful we just had to follow the AISC float, because we had NO IDEA where we were really, or where we were going. what a high though! with the sounds of marching bands, the gorgeous costumes, the blue skies, -the blue angels, and to round a corner which brought us in front of the fisherman's wharf, and to have the street so
- w- i- d- e- o- p e n -
first God gets me my own bus... then my very own driver... and now.. he's even parted the crowds like the red sea, so i can walk without bumping into one person..
and i just wiggled around a little.. flapping my arms... taking advantage of the incredible elbow room.
-because on my rare visits to fisherman's wharf.. to pier 39.. the crowds overwhelm me. -but not today..
today.. the streets of san francisco are MINE! and not only are the streets mine.. but look at the people all squished to the sides.. smiling... laughing... taking pictures..
it's quite amazing. and there was general parade cheering from the crowds, but every now and then the generic cheer would turn into a burst of loud laughter and applause.
i learned quickly this burst of applause was a sure sign the balloon platoon behind us had stopped to perform their world famous "shake n' bake" move. [we must add this to youtube if it's not already there]. it's a squat and a wiggle, which
well, you must picture 20, otherwise distinguished men, all lined up in a row, wearing giant wiggle~able inner tubes around their middles, underneath their over-sized white navy suits, carrying mops... shaking their booties and everything else -on command
by the admiral.
oh! talk about a crowd pleaser... the balloon platoon would steal the show at every corner with just a few select choreographed half military/ half vegas synchronized dance moves -using their mops like crosby used his cane, they'd entertain
then spread out and work the crowd. fall in line.. and march, left, write, left, write, left
for i don't know how many blocks or miles around fisherman's wharf, all along columbus, past thousands of people, families, singles, children, s.f. eccentrics
and every corner we turned it seemed i ran smack into another spectacular, unbelievable view available in every direction
streets that lead write up to heaven. the most colorful row of houses on cement ramps. coit tower over there. blue angels up there. packed restaurant patio's everywhere. cable cars, horses, double-decker tour buses with open air seats
police stopping traffic for the parade to cross.. people popping out of their sunroofs with camera's. peace and joy and...
happiness. i mean, just look at my sister. -every once in a while i'd glance over and see her smiling so big.. waving at the children, smiling for a picture
dancing to the italian music being performed live on the float directly in front of us. serenaded, we were.. and treated to an occasional sip of red wine -in the middle of the parade! by the italian -social club men
and every once in a while, we'd turn a corner and i'd get a better view of the marching band further ahead
poor kids. i'd think. had to learn a musical instrument. practice, practice, practice, and all those rehearsals
i mean.. i felt like such a cheater - just carrying the banner. but a very smart cheater. [yes! more wine.. thank you! we're serving the Lord... ]
and a fun thing too, to hear calls from the crowd. in addition to the cry out for the balloon platoon's "shake n' bake!" we'd also hear an occasional "go pleasanton!" or "hey p-town!" -and quite a big surprise to suddenly hear,
"sandra!" -and see my beloved friend carla, her son dominic and husband russ. the only familiar faces i'd see in the crowds. they got to see the blue angels from her aunt's rooftop, and i laughed so hard to learn something about a flying salame sandwich hitting carla in the head...
and there was a mystery holler out toward the end,
"did you hear that?" my sister shouted, "they just hollered out, WriteousMom!" -no idea who it was, but big thank you to you!
and speaking of big....
took my breath away to turn a corner toward the end of the parade and cast my eyes upon the most gorgeous - huge - spectacularly beautiful catholic church!
and to see nuns a couple floors up in the neighboring building standing at their windows to watch the parade.
you know i did a quick sign of the cross, said thank you to Jesus and waved a big hello to the sisters..
it was the perfect conclusion to our banner carrying debut.
i'm going to skip the story here about the hour and a half wait for a few slices of garlic bread at the first restaurant we went to for food after the parade, and just
take you with me to north beach pizza where the service was A+, the pizza was delicious, the beers were cold and tasty and the crowds were still going wild
but not for the balloon platoon. for the giants.
tv's were on inside north beach pizza, and we landed there write about when one of the next few plays would determine whether or not
"THE GIANTS WON!"
the excitement never ends in san francisco.
visited inside the saint peter & paul church for a few minutes before heading back to the thunderstorm where our driver, calvin, was waiting
the balloon platoon mentioned their next parade would be in san diego. my sister and i just smiled and said yes.
"we found our calling."
Monday, May 21, 2012
R.S.V.P. NO TO GOLDEN GATE'S 75TH BIRTHDAY PARTY from (me!) sandra, tvgpmy handsome prince of great sexiness mentioned to me the upcoming celebration of the golden gate bridge's 75th birthday.
i'm going to r.s.v.p. no thank you.
remember how i told you all human editors pale in comparison to father time. how, if you wait long enough (in this case, 25 years), your 1000 page trauma will turn into mere bullet points:
i was at the 50th anniversary of the golden gate bride in san francisco.
i was trapped.
i was terrified.
i was so crammed by people that at one point i just swayed in place about 2" above ground.
i made it out alive. thank you Jesus!
golden gate's 50th anniversary.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
THE LOVE PICKLE for (me!) sandra, tvgp
i startled him at first. orlando here, in the process of making my roast beef sandwich at the subway on airway blvd in livermore. "STOP! STOP! DON'T MAKE A MOVE! -DON'T TOUCH THAT SANDWICH!... K- NOT ONE MOVE. ... "i'll be write back.. k. don't touch anything, leave everything exactly like it is write now, k"
then of course, i ran to my car. grabbed my camera. ran back in and got it:
THE LOVE PICKLE
and then, -embarrassing, but this happens to photographers all the time: 'cuz see, i took 3 pictures in all. one of rolando with the sandwich, and then 2 of just the sandwich.
when i held my camera up to show him the great picture i landed -of course, i went straight to the close up of the love pickle, "just look at this!" i tell him with a big smile.. "i collect pictures of hearts found in my environment..." -etc., etc.,
but he just looked at me only half impressed. "what about the one of me? the picture of me?"
"oh! oh! of course.. how unpolite of me.. i'm so sorry... here." i said with a smile, and brought the picture of rolando with the sandwich into view. -he approved.
and talked briefly about having two jobs.. here at subway and also taco bell.. /i had to mention my love of the crunch wrap supreme. -and how he feels like giving up sometimes..
"me too," i said "but don't give up. don't give up!"
and he talked about how he loves rocky for that reason... helps keep him inspired. and he put his arms up in the famous rocky victory pose and smiled.
i left a tip in the jar. "this is for you. keep going! keep going!"
and how can i not interpret this brief interaction as anything other than divine encouragement.
Friday, May 18, 2012
LESSONS by (me!) sandra, tvgpi can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -i'm repeating a lesson with a different story: let's say you have a severe alcoholic. does the severe alcoholic attend the big, heavy drinking party, while repeatedly saying to him or herself.. "i will not drink.. i will not drink... i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.." or does, not in fact.. the strength in Christ demonstrate itself in the severe alcoholics ability to say no to the invitation in the first place. in this way.. i've learned what invitations to say no to.. but, it sure seems like the world tugs toward desiring that you show up for the party -- my strength is in knowing when to say no thank you. *** on forgiveness: i believe there is more than one form.. we can't lump all forgiveness into one catch all basket -- the person who accidentally walked all over your newly planted garden vs. the person who did it intentionally -- a bank comes to mind. bank owner catches an employee stealing money. he doesn't (and shouldn't) say, "oh.. i understand. temptation got the best of you. you are forgiven. try again" and keep the employee on the payroll. the bank owner -writefully, fires the employee. now, the bank owner, if he's smart.. spiritually evolved.. will not spend the next several months/years, holding on to the upset.. "i can't believe that employee betrayed me! oh my.. i trust no one.. etc, etc." the bank owner fires the employee. wishes him well on his journey forward.. hopes the employee has learned the lesson.. etc. prays the employee will grow and learn and improve -- and the bank owner continues on, with an educated eye for spotting the signs of someone who might steal.. vs. someone who would not -- and hires accordingly. *** forgiveness does not always mean accept/keep; nor does it always mean reject/toss. each situation requires a certain wisdom. which i believe can be achieved through prayer. -in Jesus name, amen.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
CHERISHED CONTRIBUTION TO HEART COLLECTION from (leonard stegmann!)
and have i already posted this one my daughter found on her way home from school:
I SPIED LOTS OF LOVE (me!) sandra, tvgp
samples from my growing heart collection. saw more hearts on this walk than any other:
from case avenue, through downtown pleasanton on main, to black ave.. across to hopyard.. left on hopyard toward main street. right from saint mary's onto pleasanton. left on angela in front of the fairgrounds. right on harrison. /can't resist.. make that, "write on harrison!" then left toward pleasanton library. gorgeous day; gorgeous walk.
and then... continued to see hearts while i was watching tv. -how cool is that?
thank you Jesus! amen.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
THE PHYSICIST & THE POET a poem by (me!) sandra, tvgpinspired by colm thomas whelan
re: NIF project at LLNL
the physicist & the poet.
i am a humble servant of the most high God
i write to bring good news to you!
"good news!" "good news!"
/that's what us humble servants of the most high God
are put on earth to do.
your goal is truly noble. your work is true.
so God is willing
and will grant this wish for you:
"...enough energy for all of humanity! for all of time!..."
let us celebrate in livermore with bread and wine
a toast! ..."to NIF & energy -what's yours is mine"
of course it comes at a cost
but all is not lost
let us employ our imaginations
with a brief experimentation
/that's what you brilliant scientists
are put on earth to do
so close your eyes...
... energy needs have been removed!
... energy needs have been removed!
so now we have plenty of energy
and now we have plenty of time
enough for all of humanity
what's mine is yours and yours is mine
another glass of wine!
remove it from your worry list
start the day bran new
when this sun looks like it's running out
we'll have more for you
and SUCCESS FOR NIF
will then illuminate this fact
a source of endless energy
is not the only thing we lack
until we learn to love each other
until we learn to live in peace
until we learn to love each other
until we learn to live in peace
the sun will fuel
hard, cold, hearts
until the end of time
can somebody pass me that bread, that wine..
"to hard, cold, hearts -to the end of time"
if we can employ your brilliant minds
and add this noble goal:
"...love and peace and joy!
for every human soul!"
'cuz it looks like we'll need endless energy
and who knows how many suns
to provide us the apparent time we need
to learn to live as one.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
50 HEARTS AND by (me!) sandra, tvgpno time to finish thinking of a title. as i mentioned on squidmann blog today. i'm at the pleasanton library. my own computer is being attacked again by the disappearing screen virus. waiting to see dr. larry robinson -again
anyway.. here at the library. computer/internet is free -but! you only have 40 minutes..
and this CLOCK AT THE TOP reminds you exactly how long you have left. write now, i have
/let me peek. i covered it with a paper so as not to be distracted.
oh my God... 27
this is awful. i've so much to say:
working on a poem about the NIF/LLNL -inspired by colm thomas whelan.
thinking about how much I CANT WAIT to share the pictures from yesterdays walk. had breakfast/coffee with my beloved friend, catherine teeter and then must have seen some 50!+ hearts on my walk
did not take a picture of every single one, but -took a picture of very many
so many! most on the ground, created by the sun coming through the trees, light/shadows landing on the sidewalk, the street, the grass
can't share them until my computer is up and running again. oh! the frustration
and what else..
watching the science channel again... here's how it shows: started wonderin' about the speed of thought.
hmmm. and, if you remember something from a long time ago, and then imagine something in the far, far future -wonder if that distance can be measured
and then... oh! i thought about how much the mind is to the human body, as quantam physics is to -regular physics
you know.. how once you get to quantam level -all the rules break, change.. everything becomes unpredictible
isn't that same thing true about our minds. that is... our physical bodies acknowledge the three dimensions.. up, down, left, write, backward, forward..
but, with our imaginations we can break all those rules -all those physically limiting truths
i just traveled to new york to be with my handsome prince... but i didn't do it physically.
but Wow! -i mean.. even in my mind...
last thing before i go... was thinkin' about what i said about blogs.. a long time ago. how, "blogs are as important to writers as a mother's breast is to a new born
-everything else is just formula."
then it hit me.. God is an original. of course! you can't put God inside a formula. probably why it's harder for match/science types to figure things out..
but i came to this conclusion... when they do find the way to create energy the same way the sun creates energy
which i believe is acheivable
it won't be a formula.
and last, last, last... as i only have... oh! 18...
even with such a noble goal acheived: energy for all of humanity for all of time!
we will still need to remember
or better said, we will be instantly reminded
that man does not live on bread alone. just look at us now.. this very generation, here in pleasanton, california
we do not need to worry about oxygen, or the sun running out... or concern ourselves with the whereabouts of fresh, drinking water... we have food, shelter, air condioning, public education, freedom of religion..
streets, electricity, shopping malls.. fast food, slow food... a great climate... beauty..
a charming downtown... gorgeous parks... what more could we ask for? -and yet.. look at the wants and needs... the dysfunctional families. the divorces.. the counselors offices filled... children commiting suicide.. alcoholics... drug addicts... gambling addicts.. the greed... the power plays... the politics..
i could go on and on...
so, yes.. i pray for the success of the NIF project... and i fully believe the goal is acheivable
"energy for all of humanity for all of time!"
but we are still left with a quite a bit of work to do, aren't we...
so help us God.
halleluhjah! and amen!
oh look, at that! 13 minutes to spare....