Sunday, July 10, 2011


i knew the write thing to do. it involved taking my niece to the farmer's market
-get her out of the house, give my sister, dealing with arm pain from a herniated disk, a little break

but, "God," i said. "know how much physical energy i have? i know you do.


and psychological energy... less than that.

i'm wiped out! i've got a big fat nothin' to give"

and sometimes, i hear back, but i didn't.

what did happen,

is that i got myself up out of the open coffin position i was stuck in on my bed, got myself cleaned up enough to appear in public

and brought my niece to the farmer's market..

only, we got distracted by a clown on the way...

short story, shorter: that clown was holding a sign, directing (or should i say, re~directing) us to a rummage sale going on at rockbible church

next thing you know, my niece has i~spied a friend from school, and made friends with a couple others.. they all found a double-stroller from the rummage sale, to keep them entertained, and some giant empty cardboard boxes, to play house and school in on the lawn

and i spied a friend too.. doug linman.. "i'm so tired today," i said, "just need a place i can sit down"

and that doug linman.. who apparently arrived before 6 a.m. to help set up the giant rummage sale, and was busy helping any variety of vendors and customers -he still took the time to find me an old rolling office chair to sit in..

plopped myself in with the weight of the world on my shoulders

"God," i said, "thank you."

had a place to sit where i could watch my niece play at the same time...

then, -scott, i believe his name is, and who i would later find out is the pastor of rockbible... he smiled at me, as he walked by, said, "you sure look comfortable. anything else we can bring you?" he was being funny, but i said, "as a matter of fact.. sure could use a place to put my feet up"

next thing you know, i have a cardboard box to rest my short legs on


i just made myself so comfortable.. sittin' in the middle of rummage sale.. any number of people walking by, shopping, visiting...

just about everyone who passed me by gave me a smile, and some comment about looking really relaxed..

princess of the rockbible rummage sale

i noticed a beautiful crystal glass on the table next to me.. had a tiny chip in it, but i decided as the now official princess of the rockbible rummage sale, i should not be drinkin' my water out of a mere plastic bottle, now should i?

so i poured my water in the crystal glass. -so there i was, checkin' in on my niece every few mintues, while i relaxed on my thrown, feet propped up, sippin' filtered water from this beautiful crystal glass

and there happen to be a fireplace screen next to me also..

and silk flowers

and it was a beautiful, sun-shiny day.

then i heard, "you work at ruby hill don't you" -and i smiled, said yes.. and all of me wanted to visit, and all of me wanted to explain i wasn't lazy; this was not my usual self

but i realized in advance it would take too long and too much energy to explain my lack of energy, and so i just smiled and talked a little bit. i offered no explanation for my lethargy outside of, i'm tired today, and i knew to just relish and go along with the princess status comments

and i knew to thank God

'cuz, it's been said before, and is worth saying again

if you'll do what you can do, God will do what you can't do.

truth is, i did not have one ounce of energy of my own.. but i somehow got up and got out of bed. and normally, my niece, who requires a tad bit more time/energy than the average almost 8 year old does

normally, i would have been holding her hand, walking her from booth to booth, getting a little bit more involved in conversations with friends, and strangers too, for that matter. but it took all my energy to just sit there and be a good sport

but look closer at how that worked out

i did what i could do; show up

and God did what i could not, and did not have any plan to do: providing my niece some friends to play with

-relieving me of the time/attention she would normally require, deserve and demand

and God provided me a place to rest

in style.

Thank You Jesus!

"hallelujah! & amen!"


i'll be moving soon. God has further blessed me, through friends, with a beautiful room to rent, from a beautiful person, and in a beautiful part of town -community pool/hot tub included -and safe, comfortable accomadations for my children. the room is twice the size of the one i've been living in for 2+ years, and has a window at eye level

but just about everytime i think or say or hear the word -move

i fall all apart

in fact, i'm going upstairs write now to cry for a while.