Saturday, September 18, 2010

SPEAKING OF GOD... (me!) sandra, tvgp

let me walk you through, then explain:

i'm washing my face in the bathroom. as i'm washing my face i realize i probably have spelt relevant three different ways on my recent blog post. i don't know how to spell it correclty and i didn't bother to look it up

and i think to myself: i don't care.

and then i -hear- that's the spirit. /not, by the way, "that's the spirit!" in an encouraging/cheerleading tone, but rather, that's the spirit. in a "that's the one" kind of tone. -like, if you were looking for a certain book on a shelf... and then your fingers ran across it.. that's the spirit, like, that's the book; in a something identified tone.

and i knew intuitively i was to recognize/identify & reapply this spirit, this attitude: "i don't care." -when i give my testimony at church.

and when i say i heard, that's the spirit, i don't mean an audible voice from my surroundings, but an internal voice, like a thought, but different

and i'm always struggling to describe the difference.. between thoughts that feel conceived by me vs. thoughts that feel received by me from who knows where, but i tend to think, from God.

who lives within us, write.. so helps explain..


then my whole body rings with the excitement that comes from realizing a common denominator....

definitely with a more encouraging/cheerleading tone, i conceive & say out loud... "that's it!"

"isn't that amazing!"

and before i share the common denominator, i want to remind/remember that i've always been curious/fascinated by how people hear from God, and whether or not i really do...

because countless people do report hearing from God, but no one really fully describes this experience in a ... scientific... way.

and i remember wondering in the past -if i'm hearing from God.. maybe evidence could be he uses a word i don't recognize and have to look up

but that has never happened AND.. but, boy was i impressed when i watched a show on church tv where a young girl child claimed visions of Mother Mary.. who said "immaculate conception" to her, and she had no idea what that meant or how to pronounce it very well.. and she doesn't want to forget the words, so says them out loud over and over as she runs to a priest and repeats what she heard and asks what it means...

and i believed in that story.. and thought... great evidence... so maybe i'm not hearing from God

i've never heard words i don't understand or already know -but, worth rementioning i certainly have ideas i don't think i could have on my own..


what's going on here, then.. what is this difference -this sensation, between thoughts which feel, which are experienced as conceived vs. received?

that's the spirit.

and then i kind of simultaneously remembered the personal testimonies of many different people over the years... testimonies i've heard, testimonies i've read.. where people describe themselves as hearing from God.

it's very, very, common. and it seems as common with laypeople as it does with church~goers, and church officials

and here is the common denominator between every testimony i've heard or read and including my own experiences:


one or two sentences tops.

one or two very short, very clear messages -and even without detailed explanation the receiver knows what the message means... relates to in their lives.

so God may say to someone... "don't give up" for example -which is interesting when you realize what God does not say

God does not say.. "don't give up on your dream to become a ...." or "don't give up trying to buy that house..." etc.

when you read/listen to testimonies, God usually says something short/vague, but the recipient always knows what God is talking about in their own life, even if it is not specifically refered to

so, in my own example above, God says, "that's the spirit" -and i knew what i was supposed to do with that information

in elizabeth gilbert's book, God says, "go back to bed.."

in a recent book i read, God said to a pastor, "Pray for that man"

and i don't have it with me, but in kathy cordova's book, let go, let miracles happen.. an anthology, -person after person gives their testimony about a challenge/crisis, and so many report hearing from God..

and if i'm remembering correctly.. this common thing occurs.. God's brevity which breeds clarity

i don't believe i've had exposure to any testimony ever, where God gets in a deep conversation with someone.. where there is lots of back n' forth, the way people communicate with each other

and so now, i'm of course, fascinated by this...

so, -see if it rings true as you listen to, read and/or experience testimonies in your own life. i think i may be on to something

i think God is very brief; very to the point

i love you

i am with you

be yourself

you don't have to perform

that's the spirit

go to bed

you are not alone

rest in me

trust in me

pray for that man

go to Canada

help that mom

you are protected


my sister believes she heard, "keep going" -and knew it meant, "don't stick with status quo, regarding medicines/treatments for her daughter

i'm like, "see! brevity!" -brevity breeding clarity again, because she knew what to apply the message to...


and if i were a scientist... i'd be doin' some serious research on this topic... interviewing each & every person who ever mentions hearing from God... asking detailed questions..

taking lots of notes..

collecting lots of data...

creating lots of graphs...

looking for patterns..

hunting for origins...

this is the God~given nature of scientists, isn't it? that they are curious... that they observe intently and are motivated by that curiousity to learn and understand the what's, why's & how's..

and i know much research has been done on prayer; the power of prayer

but not enough, i must say, on how people hear from God.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

CAN'T HAVE MY CAKE & ROBIN TOO by (me!) sandra tvgp


so i was invited to robin williams birthday party. and it was an intimate setting, not a great big celebrity event

just family and a few friends

and, i was hopin' beyond hopin' i'd get to sit next to him -which i did. and that he'd find me attractive -which he did

and that we might flirt with one another -which we did.


next thing you know -somewhere after the meal, but before the cake

we're in like.. a closet together; naked.

only he didn't have any protection, so i couldn't take advantage.


and the only thing i can make of this whole dream, is that somehow i took in the message from church when the pastor talked about fruits of the spirit



and my spirit got it.


if you think i could exercise this kind of self control in real life

you're dream in'